Hold up before you call child protective services. It’s not what you think. My wife and I are not anti-technology. We are also not over-protective parents paranoid about the dangers of social media.
March 21, 2015
This was the day that our daughter, then 12, got her first phone. She had never asked for one and didn’t really see the point. She used it for some light texting, but never developed into a power user.
February 11, 2016
My daughter was singing with her middle school choir at the Cathedral Basilica on St Joseph in downtown San Jose. Before the event, the kids were hanging out a nearby cafe. They went outside for a few minutes, leaving their books and belongings on the table. When they returned to the table, her iPhone 5 was gone. That night, she got an earful from her mom and me about responsibility and common sense. After a few days passed, we figured it was time to get her a replacement phone. I had a Nokia Lumia 635 Windows Mobile Phone I was no longer using. I offered it to her.
“No thanks”, her.
“Why, would you rather have an iPhone?”, me.
“No, I don’t think I need a phone”, her.
I didn’t believe her. I figured she was worried that she might become the uncool kid if she toted around a Windows Mobile phone. Can you blame her? Since she was in no rush, I figured we’d deal with it later.
A couple days pass. My wife’s brother calls us. He heard about the stolen phone. He generously offered his extra iPhone 6. The plan was that my wife would take the iPhone 6. She would give the iPhone 5s to my daughter. Now with a real phone available, we figured she would want it.
“No, thanks.”
Instead, her 12 year old brother ended up getting the iPhone 5s. He was happy to upgrade from his iPhone 4s. Unlike his sister, he loves his phone. He uses it for gaming, YouTube and texting. He takes it everywhere.
Weeks pass. There were definitely times when we wish we could text or call our daughter, but it was surprisingly less common than you might think.
4 months later
My daughter is about to enter 8th grade. She still has no desire to own a phone. That is not to say she doesn’t connect with her friends online. She uses the iPad when she is home. When she is on the go, she is off the grid.
What happened?
I am a true believer in the disruptive force that technology, and especially mobile technology, plays in our society. It is odd to have a progeny with such an aloof attitude towards technology access. I started to wonder if it is wise for her to be sans-phone.
- Will she be able to compete with her technophile peers?
- Will having a limited online presence leave her without social klout?
- Do colleges prefer students with social media expertise?
Maybe she’s on to something
She has been on a roll of late. She has been playing piano for a number of years, and was accepted to a 3-week summer program to Interlochen music school in Michigan.
She continues to hold a 4.0 GPA (full disclosure: her school’s grading is not overly rigorous). She also made her first iMovie. She spent days to create a video to support an upcoming Lucile Packard Childern’s Hospital fun run. Not bad for a kid who views a phone as more of a distraction than an asset.
Maybe we should all think about detoxing on our mobile addition?
Naah, that kid is crazy.
